Don’t Ever Feel or Say Sorry to Anyone
Here is why.
It has been a while since I posted. This is because I have been busy editing the second edition of Seeds of Consciousness ,and there are lots of personal and spiritual breakthroughs that I can’t wait to share.
So, let’s dive into the ‘feeling sorry syndrome’. First of all, don’t ever confuse feeling sorry for someone and being compassionate for someone. Feeling sorry for someone else isn’t the same as being sorry or apologetic about something either. They are two different things and circumstances.
Think about this for a minute.
- Who was the most recent person you felt sorry for?
- When was the last time someone else felt sorry for you?
- When was the last time you said sorry to someone?
- In which situation where you in, for someone to tell you sorry?
The statement I feel sorry for someone is interchangeable with I feel bad for someone. So, you immediately see that bad and sorry are phrases of the same vine.
Have you thought about those things and situations where the word sorry emerges from?
It is always a bad scenario where you feel sorry for someone, and the fact is you are making their situation worse than it was before when you feel sorry for someone else.
If you have nieces or nephews you must have noticed that whenever they fall down, the first thing is they will look right at your face, to see how you will react to that situation. If you feel sorry for them, they put themselves in a victim situation and start crying out loud with tears, waiting for you to pick them up. However, if you ignore them two things might happen, they will just stand up clean themselves up and continue to play or they may stand up and stop playing.
What I usually do is look them straight in the eyes and tell them, you are ok, and it’s okay. These are magic words that work all the time. Even if they are on the brink of crying, they will stop.
The mechanics of feeling sorry
The thing to consider is what you are actually doing when you feel sorry for someone. Let’s say you meet a homeless person. What happens in your mind is you keep on pouring all these negative assumptions about that person. You paste them right on their image. In the end, you are projecting all the negativity toward that person. Therefore, instead of giving them hope and positive energy, you have just added another wealth of negativity to their life. The money you just offered to them is attached to all those bad intentions you just projected on them.
Consider this: when you get bad news from a hospital, a relationship, a bank, or even at work, they say sorry or that’s unfortunate. Thus, it is not a word that is meant to help, it is a word to curse you, the kind of word that if you listen to, will make a situation worse than it appears to be.
What should you feel and say?
Personally, whenever a person is in a tough situation, I apply the rule of four. These are the five pillars of being useful and helpful to someone who is in a tough situation.
- The first principle is to be neutral about the situation, let them process whatever they are experiencing, and let them decide what to do. Taking advantage of the unknown, “no one knows what the future holds”, statements like these will get a person’s mind out of the ‘trapped mentality’. It loosens them from the feeling of being stuck.
- The second principle is to try to understand them. Listening is always better than talking, and a lot of people appreciate it when they are listened to. Psychologically they unburden themselves when they talk about their situation. Make that moment about them and not about you.
- Third, it is always ‘not the end of the world,’ don’t react to any situation as if it is the end of the world. If you don’t make a big deal about someone’s current situation, they will also feel like it is not as serious as they had thought.
- The fourth principle is pointing them toward the positive side of things. There are always two sides to a coin, which means in any situation you can always see a positive side of that situation and a negative side. Guide them to the positive side when they are leaning towards the negative. Instead of just being a positivity nut, you can apply the principle of the unknown with positivity, “Who knows maybe down the road this could be the best thing ever to happen to you”, or “Maybe this is a wake-up call.”
To wrap things up, it is not necessarily what you say, but the feelings and the energy carried behind those feelings and words that count. Because you are condemning and sending someone to ‘hell’ before they even know where the road to hell is, it is always better to say nothing. This is because it will make someone feel helpless while there is always a solution to anything.
Don’t Ever Feel or Say Sorry to Anyone
Here is why.
It has been a while since I posted. This is because I have been busy editing the second edition of Seeds of Consciousness ,and there are lots of personal and spiritual breakthroughs that I can’t wait to share.
So, let’s dive into the ‘feeling sorry syndrome’. First of all, don’t ever confuse feeling sorry for someone and being compassionate for someone. Feeling sorry for someone else isn’t the same as being sorry or apologetic about something either. They are two different things and circumstances.
Think about this for a minute.
- Who was the most recent person you felt sorry for?
- When was the last time someone else felt sorry for you?
- When was the last time you said sorry to someone?
- In which situation where you in, for someone to tell you sorry?
The statement I feel sorry for someone is interchangeable with I feel bad for someone. So, you immediately see that bad and sorry are phrases of the same vine.
Have you thought about those things and situations where the word sorry emerges from?
It is always a bad scenario where you feel sorry for someone, and the fact is you are making their situation worse than it was before when you feel sorry for someone else.
If you have nieces or nephews you must have noticed that whenever they fall down, the first thing is they will look right at your face, to see how you will react to that situation. If you feel sorry for them, they put themselves in a victim situation and start crying out loud with tears, waiting for you to pick them up. However, if you ignore them two things might happen, they will just stand up clean themselves up and continue to play or they may stand up and stop playing.
What I usually do is look them straight in the eyes and tell them, you are ok, and it’s okay. These are magic words that work all the time. Even if they are on the brink of crying, they will stop.
The mechanics of feeling sorry
The thing to consider is what you are actually doing when you feel sorry for someone. Let’s say you meet a homeless person. What happens in your mind is you keep on pouring all these negative assumptions about that person. You paste them right on their image. In the end, you are projecting all the negativity toward that person. Therefore, instead of giving them hope and positive energy, you have just added another wealth of negativity to their life. The money you just offered to them is attached to all those bad intentions you just projected on them.
Consider this: when you get bad news from a hospital, a relationship, a bank, or even at work, they say sorry or that’s unfortunate. Thus, it is not a word that is meant to help, it is a word to curse you, the kind of word that if you listen to, will make a situation worse than it appears to be.
What should you feel and say?
Personally, whenever a person is in a tough situation, I apply the rule of four. These are the five pillars of being useful and helpful to someone who is in a tough situation.
- The first principle is to be neutral about the situation, let them process whatever they are experiencing, and let them decide what to do. Taking advantage of the unknown, “no one knows what the future holds”, statements like these will get a person’s mind out of the ‘trapped mentality’. It loosens them from the feeling of being stuck.
- The second principle is to try to understand them. Listening is always better than talking, and a lot of people appreciate it when they are listened to. Psychologically they unburden themselves when they talk about their situation. Make that moment about them and not about you.
- Third, it is always ‘not the end of the world,’ don’t react to any situation as if it is the end of the world. If you don’t make a big deal about someone’s current situation, they will also feel like it is not as serious as they had thought.
- The fourth principle is pointing them toward the positive side of things. There are always two sides to a coin, which means in any situation you can always see a positive side of that situation and a negative side. Guide them to the positive side when they are leaning towards the negative. Instead of just being a positivity nut, you can apply the principle of the unknown with positivity, “Who knows maybe down the road this could be the best thing ever to happen to you”, or “Maybe this is a wake-up call.”
To wrap things up, it is not necessarily what you say, but the feelings and the energy carried behind those feelings and words that count. Because you are condemning and sending someone to ‘hell’ before they even know where the road to hell is, it is always better to say nothing. This is because it will make someone feel helpless while there is always a solution to anything.
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